it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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