yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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