that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
