Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize