Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
