Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
