I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
