Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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