i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
