I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
