Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
