New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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