the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
