I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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