My friends, they love my intelligence
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
