Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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