My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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