she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
