I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
