I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
