its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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