i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
