I must be too annoying 4 u.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
