i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
