I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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