The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize