you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
