I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
