Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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