I just cut my nipple shaving
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
