so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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