I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
