Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
