covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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