Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
