your thong is hanging out like whoa
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
