yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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