"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
