I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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