After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
