Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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