Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to calm my uterus...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
