bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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