ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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