Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
