i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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