I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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