I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
