I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
