I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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