Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
