You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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