is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
