need another drink. this is the easiest way
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
