You're so nebulous sometimes
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize