Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
